感谢您和我们分享这篇文章,我看了觉得很感动,母爱是世界上最伟大的东西,在您的文章中可以深刻的感受到您对女儿的关爱和为她感到骄傲,我想容容也一定是对您无比的依恋、热爱和为您骄傲,无论什么时候,无论她在哪里。 看了您对女儿的描述和她的作品,我觉得她是一个很有想法、很有才华、很美丽的一个女孩子,正如您所说”她是一个孤独与认真的灵魂,对人对事充满了同情,体贴却又倔强,善良但又坚强”,这些正是人类最珍贵、最可爱的地方之一。非常可惜容容被喜欢艺术的神带走,让人感叹世事无常。我想,她在神的国度中一定快乐的继续追求她喜爱的艺术,同时她也会看着人间的您,并希望您每一天过的开心和快乐。
Archives
Liwen Jin
Jin’s translation of Candy’s “Music from the Womb”
At night, my head rests upon a mossy stone
purple pansies grow around my face
Surrounding me like petals of a daisy
Each flower is that petal
ready to blow away and wilt on the cold ground
When someday it will be labeled as an ancient fossil
No, that is not the way
Flowers die because I sleep in their flowerbed
Crushed they bloom, crushed they will go
I awake from the dream
and shake my head my dream catcher
All of the petals of flowers fall
each one with the same message: Forget me not
– 11/29/95
飄自子宮的音樂
魏容容
入夜,頭倚靠在佈滿青苔的石塊上
紫羅蘭在我面龐邊盛開
如雛菊的花瓣,圍繞著我
每朵花皆是那花瓣
即將散落凋零,在冰冷的地上
有一天,她會被視作古老的化石
不,不會
花兒死去,皆因我躺在她們的花床裏
碾碎了她們的綻放,碾碎了她們之所往
從夢中醒來
我搖搖頭,搖搖這夢的捕手
所有的花瓣飄落
每一片,都在訴說:勿忘我
A play written by Liwen Jin about Candy’s story
寶貝:你是天使,劃過塵世
媽媽:女兒,你是天使。人初生爲倒體,眼見皆是塵世的顛倒,然後,我們糾正,我們開始用世俗去體驗冷暖。你不同,你依然用嬰兒般最純最真的心去觀察和思考。我能體會到,寶貝,你是與衆不同的,你是媽媽的也是這個人間的天使。
女兒:媽媽,謝謝你。我是天使,可是,爲什麽有魔鬼讓我刺痛和絕望?
媽媽:那不是魔鬼,那是深藏的原始力量。那些力量都躍然在你的線條間,冷與熱,粗糙與細緻,柔和與剛硬,那些張力是你生命裏的力量。沒有魔鬼,沒有!
女兒:媽媽,你說那不是魔鬼,可爲什麽我必須服用那麽多藥物去扼殺他們的存在?如果那是力量,爲什麽要扼殺?
媽媽:這,不是扼殺。只是暫時的休眠,中場休息,讓你平靜。然後,她又會引領你去透視去夢幻去創作。休眠,親愛的,只是休眠。
女兒:可我不想無止盡的昏睡過去,我要一輩子都這樣混沌嗎?我手握住內心長出來的筆,顫抖,痛苦,卻無法下力,我絕望。
媽媽:我的天使,不要絕望,媽媽在你身邊,你握住媽媽的手,那是只溫暖的筆,寫進你的微笑和淚水裏。不要猶豫,讓媽媽抱住你。我的寶貝,讓媽媽陪著你。
女兒:媽媽,有一天我夢到,你離我而去了。你的雙腿先是如同長在地上的莖枝,蔓延開去,然後拔地而起,一根一根。你只將我放在一堆落葉上,那些落葉撕裂開,有些皺褶起來,她們在尖叫。我只看到你遠去,我的眼淚落到乾涸,在地上盛開起一朵一朵罌粟花。
媽媽:我的寶貝,媽媽永遠不會離你而去。你是媽媽的天使,圍繞在媽媽的周圍;媽媽也是你的天使,綣抱著你,不讓你受傷害。
女兒:媽媽,我們難道不該固執地追尋自由追尋獨立追尋存在的力量嗎?薩特所說的他人即地獄,我們孤立著站在地球上,我只能看到自己的影子,冰冷而淒涼,我的內心被分成兩半,一半溫暖一半刺骨,我只想去糅碎那刺骨的半顆,怎麽還是那麽血淋淋?怎麽我的傷口無限擴大?任何線都縫不上,我感到自己就是一個大大的傷口,如同黑洞,吞噬了所有笑容,只有陰影。
媽媽:寶貝,你不是傷口,你不是黑洞,你是媽媽的天使,你給媽媽光,你給媽媽熱,你是媽媽的太陽!
女兒:媽媽,尼采也說他自己是太陽,可他自殺了。凡高的向日葵驕傲地向著太陽,可他在麥田裏開槍結束了生命。媽媽,我害怕。我體內的魔鬼有股扭曲的力量,她讓我看不到前方,看不見你。我有一天照著鏡子,只看到一個滿臉皺摺的老太婆對我獰笑,我問她你是誰,她說我是你。然後,她的嘴開始咧開,化成了一個巨大的傷口,滿是血,滿是血!
媽媽:不是不是,鏡子裏的你分明有著最美麗最明媚最清澈的笑容。媽媽的朋友都告訴媽媽,我的女兒是個完美的精靈。汪阿姨說,她老是記得你小時候穿著芭蕾舞鞋,穿著白色的天鵝服,在家門口快樂的跳來跳去,那樣的清純那樣的自由,仿佛是個天使。
女兒:恩,媽媽。我也記得,那條淨白的芭蕾舞裙,我也以爲自己是最幸運的女孩,落在媽媽的身邊,我愛聽媽媽細秀溫婉的聲音,小朋友們都告訴我說我媽媽好漂亮。我們家的大花園,花園裏的秋千,我和媽媽靠在一起的照片。
可是,爲什麽突然一切都變了?自從魔鬼住進了我的身體,我每天都害怕,都失眠,媽媽,爲什麽,爲什麽?
媽媽:孩子,沒有變,你還是那個無憂無慮的天使。記得嗎?媽媽寫論文的時候,你安靜地坐在媽媽旁邊畫畫,你跟媽媽一樣專注,一天溜過去了,我看到你的畫,媽媽就知道了,你不屬於凡塵,因爲你是天使。
女兒:恩,我愛畫畫,我愛詩歌,我愛創作,她們,是我全部的生命!我生來就是一隻筆,只用最簡單的字和畫來傳達,她們是我的嘴!也是我的心。
女兒:媽媽,人有來世嗎?
媽媽:有啊。 今生修得苦,來世享得福。
女兒:媽媽,死是必然,人只是處在通往死的中間狀態,對嗎?生是必然,死亦必然,我們,只是零落地夾在中間,對嗎?
媽媽:也許吧,但過程比那些必然更重要,不是嗎?
女兒:可是,我夾在中間,回不去了,我只能讓自己拼命往前跑。魔鬼在後面追我,我透不過氣來,透不過氣來,透不過氣來。。。
媽媽: 不要,孩子,你快回來,快回來。。。
女兒:媽媽,你知道,我回不去了,回不去了。我愛你,我愛這個世界,可是,我真的需要自由,身的自由,心的自由!
媽媽:寶貝,我知道, 你只是回去了,你只是偶然墮入凡塵,你不屬於這裏,媽媽是多麽幸運的曾經擁有你!
女兒:媽媽,我會過的很好,不要爲我擔心!你看到我留下的那些畫了嗎,那些新生的柔美的體和光?
媽媽:女兒,我看到了,我看到了裏面重生的力量,看到了新生的美好。媽媽知道你現在一定很幸福,媽媽也知道你從來不曾離開過媽媽,媽媽一直有你,很溫暖很溫暖。
你是天使,劃過塵世。
Evelyn & Kam-moon
Due to your hard work, lovely Candy Wei is reborn, perhaps not on the earth, but at least on the worldwide web.
Candy Wei Memorial Web, a new and a good idea of today, will be viewed all over the world from now on to forever.
The Memorial Web is alive and can grow. Besides putting more Candy’s newly found works into the web, the recollections of Candy’s friends’ and the viewers’ comments can be encouraged and can be added into the web. The items like ‘Discussion Forum’ or ‘Opinion Box’ may be worthy of consideration.
Candy’s works of both arts and writings are mature, unique, and surprising, Her webpage designs and poetry really impress me.
I never met Candy before, but I believe Candy Wei is one of a few true young artists in the first decade of the new century. The Memorial Website of hers has the potential to be an everlasting one.
Let’s keep work on and make this website a legend in the virtual world.
Sucheta Mazumdar
The website for Candy is very beautiful. Every time I see her work I am amazed at the range of her art and her power as an artist. For so young a person, she was so thoughtful and innovative in the ways in which she looked at even the most mundane items that her art encourages the viewer to see things differently as well. I quite enjoyed her pencil drawings from Mavis and Gail’s collection; they show such a wry sense of humor. Thank you for sharing her work with us. I know I will return to see these paintings again and again.
Isabelle de Courtivron
I was very moved by the web site for candy. This young woman had a richer life in 21 years than many of us have had in twice, or more, that long. the testimonies were amazing. such friendship, such love, such support, such admiration for her creativity… I particularly loved her website. It is also nice to know she had a special someone. How I wish I had known her. But seeing these pictures and her art work and the many messages, in a way I think that I have.
Suewhei Shieh
Looking at Candy’s legacy, I couldn’t help shaking my head and asking why. Why we were given such a precious gift and so abruptly snatched away? You have told me about her talents, but I didn’t know she was THIS talented until I saw her works. What a creative mind! The world has lost a beautiful soul and an artful genius. SIGH.
Shuwen Ng
I went to the website, saw and read some of Candy’s art and literary work. Although I didn’t know her personally, I felt a lot of who she was and what she went through in life was expressed through her work. Her passion and character really inspired me, and i believe it will continue to inspire many others. I will be keeping her in my prayers.
Ming-Bao Yue
I was profoundly touched by the creative energy, critical intensity, and spiritual beauty her art and writing exude. I feel as if I know her, though I have never had the honor to meet her in person. Although my heart is saddened by the loss of such talent, courage, and dignity, I also rejoice with you that Candy is now embarking on another journey towards a realm where she will find more beauty and peace than this world could offer her…
Dinu Luca
I have hardly known Candy. I must have met her twice, at Mad Hatter’s, and nothing more. But the grief and sadness that have engulfed me upon hearing the news of her passing are here to stay. I simply couldn’t believe my eyes when I read that email from Michigan. Then I visited the web-page and read a lot and saw a lot and found out a lot about her. About her talents, and preoccupations and mostly about her search. Yours was not a child that could stop searching, Jing, that’s how she looks to me. Yours was a child who had to explore, who had to go through things, touch them gently with her eyes or her mind or her breath and get to know them. That’s her art and mostly her web-page told me.
Truly a journey, truly the tunnel. I recited in my mind the Tibetan prayer that you put on line and I somehow felt very deeply touched inside and very silent. I would almost say that I could communicate with this complete stranger and tell her, wherever she is, to fare well and peacefully.
Sherab Lama
I am neither an artist nor know how to read arts, albeit some of Candy’s expressions seems highly poetic and mystic, perhaps the outlook of her inner most pure observations. One thing I can certainly say that she was highly talented and pure inside. At times, I’m deeply touched by the passages of her life which I believe we were somehow karmically linked of course or perhaps because being, myself, a father of two daughters.
Holly Rushakoff
I wanted to let you know how amazed I was by Candy’s body of work. I had not seen anything until you gave me the website. And then reading your beautiful speech, I could see where Candy’s poetry and wisdom came from. Candy’s art is so inspired and provocative; I am glad we are able to view it. …her talent was beyond her years.
Yen-sheng Hsia
Both the art design and the writings attest to her enormous talent and huge potential. “Poem 2,” especially, struck us as poignant and moving.
Cynthia Rivera
I logged on to the website yesterday afternoon and I was amazed at how beautiful it is… so easy to navigate through and yet so simple and elegant. I couldn’t keep my tears back as I was going through all of Candy’s photos and artwork. To this day, not a day goes by without me thinking of Candy. I especially still think of her in the evenings before I go to bed. Her smile is embedded in my mind.
Cindy K.
I just read the story of Candy in the Detroit Free Press and immediately went to her beautiful website. It is heartbreaking to imagine the talented, gentle soul of this beautiful young woman in such torment. Something must be done to further education about the debilitating illnesses that rob these gifted souls of their joy in life.
My 20 year old daughter Caitlin took her life on a cold January day in 2000. She too was a beautiful, talented student, loved and cared for by family and friends. I too believe the mental health system does not see the seriousness of their cry for help.
My heart aches with Candy’s friends and her mother. I would like to help. Please contact me if I can in any way. This anguish cannot be borne alone. It has only been through the caring words of those who have also experienced this particular loss of a child that I have been able to go on.
Christina Esposito
I first met Candy when her family moved into the house down the street on Landsbury Drive, Durham, NC. We became great friends and did everything together.
My mother was the first to hear of Candy’s death and wrote me right away. I am glad to see that there is a memorial web site for her and all the beautiful work that she did. I remember that she loved to draw as a child and was always creative. I can see by her works of art on the web site that she only got better and better as she grew.
She taught me many things about life and her culture. She was a wonderful person and a great friend. I wish that she would have received help sooner.